This week's article goes out to every parent who has ever had to feed a picky eater or has ever worried if their child is eating enough. “I'm sorry, you must be confusing my son with someone else's child.” That was my first reaction when the teacher told me my son was one of the best eaters in his class. I was shocked to hear my little lean machine would sometimes eat three times as much as the other children. Apparently he sits quietly at the table with the other children, politely asks for seconds and rarely refuses any type of food. A stark contrast to the fickle food jags he frequently displays at home. One day chicken may be his favorite food and the next day he can't bear to see it on his plate. “Mommy, take this away, I don't like chicken“. Welcome to the wonderful world of toddlers and preschoolers. It has taken me just over 1 year to begin to understand and embrace this common childhood stage. I owe this new understanding to the teachings of Ellen Satter. Satter is a highly respected dietitian specializing in child nutrition. I was given her book “Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense” by a friend after the delivery of my first child. I didn't actually read the book until soon after my son's second birthday. He seemed to morph slowly from an infant who would devour almost anything he could lick from his little fingers to a skeptical toddler who was quick to see through any disguised source of meat or vegetable. Mealtime was more often becoming a battlefield of ultimatums and flying food. It was as if the clock struck 6:00pm and my sweet child's body was taken over by some evil alter ego. Despite my best intentions I ended up tense throughout the meal concerned that my son was not eating enough or that I was a push-over for not making him eat his broccoli. I finally picked up Ellen Satter's book and discovered my son's preschool, where he readily devoured his food, was doing exactly what was recommended in the book. Satter calls it “The Division of Responsibility”. To put it simply, the adult is responsible for WHAT, WHEN and WHERE the child eats. The child is responsible for HOW MUCH and IF they eat at all. It's based on the premise that you can't, and would never want to, force a child to eat. Children will not starve themselves. They will eat when they are hungry if you give them the freedom to experience food on their own terms. As the parent, all I have to do is produce healthy well balanced meals and snacks (WHAT), at consistent times (WHEN), in a calm, relaxing environment (WHERE). I have to keep telling myself that it's ok if he eats only bread at one meal and meat at the next. The key is to make snacks between meals as nourishing as the meals themselves. The healthy snacks will fill in the gaps. There are some things you can do to encourage variety at any meal. Preparing interesting shapes and simple flavors will definitely make it easier for a child to try new foods. Keep in mind it may take 10-12 exposures to a new food before they willingly try it, let alone like it! The biggest mistakes a parent can make are to bargain, bribe or prepare the same 2 or 3 meals just to ensure they “eat enough”. Every parent, myself included, is guilty of catering to a child's whimsical food preferences. Especially after a long day at work, who wants to fight about food. The beauty of Ellen Satter's proven strategy is that there is no longer any reason to fight. You do your part and leave the rest up to the child. I still catch myself falling back into my old habits of prodding along my son's eating. I am quickly reminded as the tension level rises and number of bites eaten drops, it's time to get back on my side of the “Division of Responsibility”
For tips on feeding picky eaters visit:
Wellington Dufferin Guelph Public Health Unit http://www.wdghu.org/topics/family_health/nutrition.htm
and
Registered Dietitian Ellen Satter's site www.ellensatter.com
Heidi Smith is a Registered Dietitian from the Health and Performance Centre. She is the author of the book “Nutrition for the Long Run - A nutrition handbook for runners, walkers and active individuals”. Her column runs every Thursday